Most Cringe-Worthy Dad Jokes Ever? You Decide!

Author: Loreena Walsh   Date Posted:2 August 2019 

Dear Dad, I Hope Your Father’s Day Is Better Than Your Jokes

Oh we hear you… He thinks he’s sooooooooo funny, and we all know he’s not, but what would the world be without dads and their jokes!

We all love our dads, even if they put us through the sheer pain of their ridiculous collection of dad jokes every time we talk to them. As we grow older, we grow to appreciate our father’s and their quirky sense of humour.

We thought what better way to celebrate the pending joy of Father's Day than to find a collection of Dad jokes to bring a little bit of cringe-worthy joy to our day. Any of these not-so-hilarious specialities sound familiar in your family?


1. Child: Dad are you alright?
Dad: No I’m half left!

2. Child: Dad, I’m hungry.
Dad: G’day hungry, I’m Dad.

3. Dad: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Child: I don’t know.
Dad: No-Eye-Deer.

4. Child: Dad did you get a haircut?
Dad: No, I got them all cut.

5. Dad: I heard a really good fighting joke today, but I forgot the punch line.

6. Dad: What do you call a fly with no wings?
Child: I don’t know.
Dad: A walk.

7. Dad: Isn’t the shovel such a ground-breaking invention?

8. Dad: I think we should sell our vacuum cleaner.
Child: Why?
Dad: It’s just collecting dust.

9. Child: I’ve got something in my eye.
Dad: I think it’s your eyeball.

10. Dad: Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Child: I don’t know.
Dad: Because he was outstanding in his field.

11. Dad: Our last holiday I wanted to go swimming with dolphins, but it was too expensive, so I decided to go swimming with sharks instead, but even that cost me an arm and a leg.

12. Dad: You know, I hear scientists did a study on the effects of alcohol on walking: 
The results were staggering.

13. Dad: My friend David lost his ID the other day.
Now he’s just Dav.

14. Poop jokes aren’t my favourites, but they’re a solid number 2.

15. The police came around to tell me our dogs were chasing people on bikes.
I told them my dogs don’t even own bikes.

16. You know I used to really hate facial hair. But then it grew on me.

17. Dad: I joined a yarn group for some company.
Child: Did you like it?
Dad: No I didn’t feel welcome, they were very tight-knit.

18. Dad: Your mum bet me that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti.
You shoulda seen her face when I drove pasta.

19. Dad: What did the mountain climber call his son?
Child: I don’t Know what?
Dad: Cliff.

20. Dad: Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Child: Why?
Dad: Because he was a fungi.


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Cringe-worthy dad jokes or not, we love nothing more than taking time out of our busy schedules to spend quality time with our dads, and we're sure you do too. Even if you can't be there with him this year, you can make sure he feels like he's the most important man in the world, by having one of Australia's best gourmet hampers delivered right to his door, we even include free delivery. Browse our range now, we guarantee it will be more fun than a dad joke!